So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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