why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
