I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can feel your judgement through the phone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
