have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
