Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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