Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
