GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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