can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize