We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
