All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
