She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
