i need an iv and a liver transplant
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
