Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
