I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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