I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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