At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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