I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
