windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think your dad took our porno
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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