you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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