i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
