I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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