omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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