Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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