Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
