it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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