Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
