she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
