Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
