why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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