I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
