I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
