people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
