Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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