I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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