I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
