i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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