Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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