What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize