Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

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  (310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon http://tfl.nu/qfy4
  Replies (21) Good night (495) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5511) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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  (973): if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out! http://tfl.nu/a5qm
  Replies (23) Good night (549) Bad night (4511) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

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  (310): He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/jh5k
  Replies (17) Good night (669) Bad night (3510) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.

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  (215): She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her. http://tfl.nu/ocgj
  Replies (9) Good night (3528) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4281) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

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  (512): will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you? http://tfl.nu/0iy8
  Replies (18) Good night (5629) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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  (740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj
  Replies (24) Good night (5207) Bad night (2204) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?

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  (248): guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop? http://tfl.nu/8g34
  Replies (22) Good night (6061) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.

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  (217): Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b. http://tfl.nu/ryd7
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
  Replies (11) Good night (1975) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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  (202): In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/gnds
  Replies (14) Good night (3231) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

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  (603): so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me. http://tfl.nu/37lj
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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  (315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1326) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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  (909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr
  Replies (6) Good night (541) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt

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