So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
