shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
