Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
