And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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