winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
