He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
