I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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