So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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