Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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