I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize