We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
