My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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