no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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