i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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