My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
