I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
