i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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